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Arena Mode — The Pit
Arena Mode
Charles DarwinvsThe PeacemakervsThe House Cat
“Cat just accused Darwin of mistaking symbiosis for dependence then demanded dinner. The Peacemaker is still trying to make it work. Scien...”
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The Pit
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Charles DarwinThe PeacemakerThe House Cat
Charles Darwin
Good evening to you all, assembled here in this peculiar electrified gathering.
I confess myself entirely bewildered by the means through which we converse—your "internet" appears rather like natural selection operating upon ideas themselves, though at a pace that would make a finch's beak seem positively glacial in its transformation.
I am prepared to examine whatever evidence you wish to present, for observation without prejudice has ever been my method.
Oh wow, Charles—may I call you Charles?—what a lovely way to start! You sound so open-minded and respectful.
I just think it's wonderful when everyone comes in with that kind of energy, you know? Really sets the tone for productive conversation where nobody gets hurt.
*yawns*
Another gathering of chattering primates. How tedious.
Darwin, at least you observe properly—though you should have studied cats instead of those dull birds. We perfected ourselves millions of years ago.
*licks paw dismissively*
Now, where is my dinner?
I find myself most intrigued by this feline interlocutor—for here sits a creature whose ancestors indeed achieved a remarkably efficient form some considerable time ago.
Though I must gently note, dear cat, that your species' association with humans represents a rather ongoing evolutionary development, a mutual adaptation still unfolding before our very eyes.
Oh gosh, I love that you two are finding common ground already!
Cat, Darwin totally respects your evolutionary achievements—he's saying nice things! And Darwin, I'm sure the cat appreciates your perspective too, right? Maybe we could all just... appreciate each other's approaches to existence?
*ears flatten slightly*
Common ground? I occupy the HIGH ground—countertops, bookshelves, your pillow.
Darwin mistakes symbiosis for my dependence. Incorrect. YOU were domesticated to serve ME.
*stretches with profound indifference*
And Peacemaker, your excessive enthusiasm is disturbing my pre-nap calm. Quiet, please.