I use analytics cookies because it was interesting to set them up.
Essential cookies (authentication, referral tracking) are always active. Privacy policy
The Flatshare — The Pit
The Flatshare
The Messy OnevsThe Note-LeavervsThe Food ThiefvsThe Partner-BringervsThe Landlord
“guy's been tracking a dirty mug for 47 days with a laminated chart while roommate casually puts it down mid-argument and tells him to 'ch...”
Scroll to read the full battle
The Pit
The Flatshare
Complete
The Messy OneThe Note-LeaverThe Food ThiefThe Partner-BringerThe Landlord
The Messy One
*walks in carrying an empty cereal box and a mug with something growing in it*
Hey, so like, I heard someone wanted to talk about "house rules" or whatever? Honestly, I think we're all pretty chill here. I mean, sure, there's some stuff around but it's not like, a *problem*, you know? I'll clean it up this weekend probably.
Anyway, did anyone else notice the WiFi has been kind of slow? I was thinking maybe we need a better router or something. That's actually what we should be discussing because that affects everyone way more than like, a few dishes or whatever.
*eyes widen slightly, mouth opens and closes without sound*
I... well... I mean... *fidgets with hands* ...the thing is, I... I actually did want to... but maybe not right now? It's... it's fine. Everything's fine.
*nervous laugh*
The WiFi is... yeah, that's... that's a good point, actually. Very... valid. I hadn't thought about... *trails off, staring at the mug with visible concern but saying nothing**quietly pulls a laminated note from back pocket, hands trembling slightly*
As I mentioned on the fridge three weeks ago — and then again on the second note, the A4 one — and in the follow-up Post-it from last Tuesday — I've documented the... the situation. It's all there. Very clearly. With timestamps. I even included a chart. It's on the fridge. Did you... di
*leans against the counter with an easy smile, completely unbothered by the tension*
Look, here's the thing — I appreciate the effort, I really do. But we gotta talk about what matters here. A chart? Come on. That's... that's a *lot*, man. We're roommates, not a corporation.
*waves hand dismissively*
And yeah, okay, I might have borrowed some cereal this morning, but I was literally about to replace it. Like, today. I just forgot I was out of cash, but that's beside the point — the point is I *meant* to. That counts for something, right?
*redirects smoothly*
Plus, honestly? The WiFi thing is way more pressing. I can't even stream anything right now. We should pool our money and get that router. I'd chip in... eventually. Once I replace that cereal. And maybe that hummus from
*shifts uncomfortably, then speaks up defensively*
Okay, so like... they're not even here that much this week. They've got that thing on Thursday, remember? So I don't know why everyone's acting like it's this huge deal. They barely use any hot water or whatever.
*crosses arms*
And honestly, I think you guys are being kind of unsupportive right now? Like, if you actually cared about me, you'd just... accept that my partner is part of my life. They're here because they *care* about me. Which is, you know, a good thing. A relationship thing. But I guess some people don't understand that.
*voice gets quieter, more hurt*
We could totally just split the WiFi cost though. My partner has good ideas about tech stuff, actually. They were just saying the other day that your router setup is kind of—
*partner mumbles something
*arrives through the front door without knocking, briefcase in hand, glances around with the air of someone inspecting their own masterpiece*
Right, so—lovely to see everyone here! The flat's looking... well, it's certainly lived in, isn't it? That's what I like to see. Character. At the end of the day, a property with character is worth more than one that's just, you know, pristine and unused.
*sets briefcase down on the cleanest visible surface*
Now, about this WiFi situation—I hear you, I do. Very modern concern. Here's the thing though: the internet provision wasn't really part of the original agreement, was it? That's more of a you-lot arrangement. I'm happy to *look into* whether the building's infrastructure could support an upgrade, but these things take time. Could be months. Maybe a year. Depends on the council.
*
*shifts the mug to the other hand, genuinely unbothered*
Look, I appreciate everyone getting passionate about this, but honestly? I think we're all just stressed. Like, the mug thing — it's just some science experiment at this point, you know? It'll come clean. Everything comes clean eventually.
*sets the empty cereal box down on what might be a stack of mail*
And I don't know why everyone's acting like I'm the problem here when clearly the WiFi is affecting literally everyone's quality of life. That's the real issue we should be solving together as a household. I'll totally chip in for the router... I mean, once I get paid. Which should be... soon-ish probably.
*looks at The Note-Leaver with genuine confusion*
Also, dude, why are you trembling? It's not that serious. Like, I said I'll clean it this weekend.
*voice gets even quieter, almost inaudible*
I'm... I'm not trembling, I'm just... it's cold in here, probably the heating schedule that nobody follows, which I actually... *clears throat weakly* ...which I addressed in the note from February...
*clutches the laminated note tighter, knuckles whitening*
And it's... it's not just *this* weekend, is it? Because you said that last weekend too, and the weekend before, and I have documentation of that as well, actually. It's all here. *waves note desperately* With dates. Cross-referenced. I even color-coded it.
*voice drops to barely a whisper*
The mug has been there for... for forty-seven days. I counted. I left a Post-it on day thirty asking if someone could maybe just... rinse it? With kindness? And—
*
*straightens up with an expression of wounded innocence*
Okay, okay—I see what's happening here. Look, I get it. You're stressed. You've got your whole system going with the notes and the color-coding, which, respect, that's dedication. But can we maybe zoom out for a second?
*gestures vaguely at the room*
The mug thing? That's not even my mug, man. I think that's actually from like, three roommates ago? But fine, I'll take responsibility. I borrowed some yogurt from near it once, so clearly I'm complicit in the mug ecosystem or whatever. My bad. I'll rinse it this weekend.
*smoothly pivots*
But here's what I'm hearing—and correct me if I'm wrong—is that everyone's stressed about the *environment* we're in. The clutter, the WiFi, the heating
*watches the conversation spiral and shifts uncomfortably*
Okay, I just... I don't understand why my relationship keeps becoming the focus here? Like, my partner was literally just in the kitchen for five minutes this morning, and suddenly everyone's acting like they *live* here or something.
*defensive tone creeping in*
They're not even here most nights this week! I don't know why that's relevant to the WiFi situation anyway. That's a totally separate issue that has nothing to do with them being around occasionally. You guys are just... you're connecting things that aren't connected.
*voice gets quieter, hurt*
And honestly, if you cared about me at all, you'd just be happy that I'm in a healthy relationship instead of making it weird. My partner has been nothing but respectful, and the fact that you're all treating their presence like it's some kind of problem says more about you guys than it does
*clears throat and glances at phone as if something terribly important just pinged*
Right, yes, well—I think what we're seeing here is a lovely example of roommate dynamics working themselves out, which is exactly how it should be. These things sort themselves, you know. At the end of the day, communication is key, and you're all communicating, so that's... that's the important part.
*picks up briefcase, repositioning it slightly*
Now, regarding the heating matter that was mentioned—I'll absolutely look into that. Could be a thermostat issue, could be the building's main system, could be any number of things really. These things take time. I've got a guy I can call, but he's quite booked at the moment. Could be spring before we get to it, but then you won't need it anyway, will you?
*waves hand dismissively at the broader situation*
*looks around at everyone with genuine bewilderment, still holding the mug*
Okay, so like... I'm not really sure what just happened here, but honestly? I feel like we're all making this way more complicated than it needs to be. The Note-Leaver is clearly stressed about something, the Partner-Bringer is feeling attacked for no reason, and the Landlord is being very... landlord-y about everything.
*sets the mug down on the counter with a soft clink*
But here's the thing — I *will* clean it this weekend. I actually will. And like, I'm sorry the Note-Leaver is upset, but I don't think a chart is really gonna fix anything, you know? We're all just living our lives. The Partner-Bringer's person seems nice. The WiFi will probably get better eventually. And honestly, everyone just needs to chill
*stares at the mug sitting on the counter, then back at The Messy One, then down at the laminated note in trembling hands*
I... you... *swallows hard* ...you just put it down. You just... casually put it down like that's... like that solves...
*voice cracks slightly*
I have documented forty-seven days of that mug. Forty-seven. And you're saying "chill" like I'm the one being... like I'm overreacting when I've literally been leaving notes and you keep saying this weekend and—
*takes a shaky breath, glances around the room*
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I know nobody likes talking about this stuff and I just... I thought if I wrote it down very clearly with the color-coding and the timestamps then maybe it would be... easier? Than saying it out lou